Are You A Positive Thinker, Or A Negative Thinker?
Do you find yourself complaining about yourself, life, people, events, etc? Do you tell people their dreams are unrealistic and that they cannot be achieved? Do you have a “Why me?” attitude? Are you Dorothy from The Golden Girls? There’s a good chance this is how you are, but don’t even realize it. This would make you a negative thinker.
Or, do you encourage people, their thoughts and ideas? Do you look at the bright side of every situation? Are you happy to be alive? Do you smile often, and at others, even strangers? If so, even without realizing it, you are a positive thinker, with a positive attitude, and you are more like Rose from The Golden Girls, who, incidentally, is always put down by Dorothy and her negativity.
If you are a negative thinker, even just slightly, you will know by the end of this article. I list here some major factors in determining whether you are negative or positive. Most people are negative without realizing it.
Words like can’t, don’t, won’t, shouldn’t, couldn’t, wouldn’t, why, how, what… are most often used in a negative manner when you look at the world. You wonder why everything is so bad, and why it’s happening to you, and what you did to make this happen. You think, “I can’t do this”, or “things won’t change”, etc. Even worries that you have that bring your spirits down. These are negative thoughts, not positive ones.
Every single time you focus on what’s wrong, instead of what’s right, you pull yourself further into a negative frequency which is difficult to break away from. You keep your vibration down, which attracts more things of the same nature. You attract those negative things that keep you down instead of looking at what’s right which brings positive things.
“You become what you think about most, but you also attract what you think about most.” – John Assaraf
You need to bring your vibration up so that you attract the positive things into your life. To bring that positive vibration, you must look at the positive and not look at the negative. Turn all you negatives into positives, and remember that everything happens for a reason.
Most of the time, when the negative things happen, the things that prevent us from doing something we want to do, or going somewhere we want to go, or even getting the things that we want to get, we can’t see why those things are happening. You will never see the positive thing that happened because of that negative if you continue to only focus on the negative. Negative forces are like a form of misdirection; they steal your attention away from the positive things that are happening around you because of those negative things.
When you are so engrossed in the negatives in your life, you have essentially buried yourself in a pile of negativity. When you’re buried in a pile of negativity, you have to look all the harder for the positivity that is there. Start sorting through that pile of what you see as negative that you have buried yourself in and before you know it, as you sort, you find positives. With each positive you sort into its own pile, you will see that positive pile grow and now the positive that is left in the negative pile is much easier to spot. Who knows, after you’ve dug yourself out of the negativity pile, the pile may even become a positivity pile that you were looking at from the wrong angle.
By acknowledging the negative, and then looking immediately toward the positive, it won’t be long before you get to see the positive outcome from the negative happening, and it becomes quite clear that indeed everything does happen for a reason. You just have to be patient about it, and be looking for it, or you will never see that positive, and you will only see the negative.
Focus on the positive, not on the negative. For example, look at what you CAN do as opposed to what you CAN’T do; what IS possible instead of what seems impossible. By focusing on the CAN and not the CAN’T, you are one step closer to the positive outcomes that you are looking to achieve.
Every negative thought you have pulls you deeper into your troubles. Likewise, every positive thought you have sends your troubles further away.
Some of the things that have you thinking negatively are things you do every day without realizing it. You don’t realize that these things are part of what is causing you to be in the negative situation you find yourself in that you can’t seem to get out of.
Let’s take a look at some of those things.
Complaining
Complaining is a negative. When you complain, you keep with you all the negatives about whatever or whoever you’re complaining about. Stop for a minute and examine the situation. Instead of complaining, look for something positive in the situation, or about the person or people you have issues with.
For example, you can complain that you have to take the garbage out, or, you can be grateful you have enough in your life to be able to afford to have garbage.
Be grateful for what you have, and stop wishing and hoping for the stuff you don’t. By being grateful and happy for the things that you have, you don’t focus on what you don’t have, and therefore your world just got a whole lot happier. Maybe not at first, but it will soon. And when that starts to happen, you will see good things starting happening to you. It’s because you’ve changed your outlook and you can appreciate those little things that you overlooked before.
Anger and Frustration
It is quite obvious that anger and frustration are negative. How can you be frustrated and/or angry and be positive? You can’t. If you were positive, and had a positive attitude, and a positive outlook, the negativity of anger and frustration would not be able to seep into the situation which is making you angry or frustrated. There’s no use getting angry or frustrated over things that you have no control over. Instead, look to ways you can improve the situations that cause those feelings and see what is positive about them so that you can be more positive toward them.
Worry and Regret
Whenever you worry, you are thinking in a negative manner. “I hope…”, “I wish…”, “What if…”, are used for wanting something to happen or wanting something to NOT happen. Neither way you look at it is positive; both ways are negative. If you are in a constant state of fear of the unknown, worried about things that may or may not happen, you keep yourself in a negative state, and attract negative to you. Stop worrying about how things might be, and look at how things are. A much more positive attitude toward things that worry you would be to take action if you can, and start thinking the best, and not worrying about the worst.
Regret is worrying about what happened already and wishing you could go back and change things. Regret keeps you in a downward spiral of negativity. What happened, happened; and it happened for a reason. The reason may be unseen, but things went the way they did because they were supposed to. There’s no use worrying about something you can’t change. Move on, go forward and know that you are who you are because of it.
Swearing
Swearing is negative. Swear words are used for emphasis in a negative manner, even when used to say something positive. You can say the same thing without the swearing. Yes, they do help to get the point across sometimes; however, they are not positive words.
I have seen many memes that have great messages on them; however, there is swearing used in them. When I get to that point in reading them, it just takes something away from them. I like to convey positivity whenever possible, and even when a message like that is a good one, I refuse to share those most times because of the negativity contained within them. The same thing can easily be said with other more positive emphasizing words.
I swear, lots of people swear, but we don’t need to swear when we are angry, or when we want to convey a positive message. When you are angry, it is quite obvious that it is used negatively. When you swear when trying to get a positive message across to people, it takes away from that positive message and turns it into something that it was never meant to be, and that is negative.
Gossip / Rumors
Gossip is negative. Anytime you gossip about someone you are keeping yourself in a negative state of mind. Rumors and gossip are negative acts, not positive ones. It is not necessary to talk about someone else, especially when they are not present. More often than not, by gossiping and spreading rumors, people get hurt. Gossip and rumors help no one.
Criticism
To criticize is to be negative. Criticism is never a positive action. Criticism is judgment, and judgment is negative, not positive. Sometimes you might think you are doing a good thing by criticizing someone or something someone has done, but you are not; you are being negative. Even constructive criticism is not positive. Anytime you find fault, it is negative, whether it’s to change something for the more positive or not. By criticizing, you are condemning a person and their actions, and their thoughts as not being good enough. Good enough is a matter of opinion, perception, and perspective.
Criticizing people is completely negative, even if your intentions are to be helpful. Criticizing is never helpful. By criticizing people, you’re looking at their negatives instead of their positives. This not only keeps you negative, but you help to make or keep the person you’re criticizing negative as well.
Instead of criticizing, try seeing a person for what they do, instead of what they don’t do. That would be a positive action, and a positive mindset.
Teasing / Making Fun / Insults
Calling someone names or making fun of someone, even if it is in the spirit of fun, is a negative. You may see it as fun, but not everyone does. Even if the other person you are teasing or making fun of thinks it’s funny and enjoys it, it is still negative and draws negativity toward both of you and anyone else involved. It is not always about how the other person feels that makes it negative. When the other person hurts from it, it is obviously negative, but when everyone enjoys it, it is not obvious, but is still negative.
It’s not necessary to tease someone, not for any reason. There are other ways to enjoy yourselves and have fun. If teasing and making fun is all you know how to do, then you should look into learning how to change those habits. Having fun in a positive manner will help you to see other things that are negative in your life and possibly help to change those negatives each into something more positive. It will make your whole life better and much more positive.
Throwing insults around is also negative, even if it’s in good fun. It’s not the fun you get out of it that is negative, but the action itself. Insulting anyone keeps you in a negative way of thinking. Instead of saying something insulting to or about someone, try saying something positive and nice. Doing so will bring you into a more positive way of thinking and being.
Threats
Threats, no matter what the reason, even to gain a positive outcome, are negative. Being mean to someone, or threatening to do something mean, is mean. Yes, sometimes it is the only way to get someone to listen to do the thing they’re supposed to do, which becomes a positive for outcome, is totally on the negative side. Anytime you have to threaten, no matter what the reason, you are being negative and not positive. There are other ways to accomplish the positive outcome you seek that are positive in nature; you should try to look toward those positive options instead of relying on threats.
Being Down On Yourself
Whenever you put yourself down, for any reason, you are thinking negatively and bringing negativity to yourself. If you want positive things to happen, you must start being positive about yourself. Don’t put yourself down just because you currently can’t do something, or because of your weight or height, or because someone else put you down, etc. There are lots of things that we put ourselves down about, and all of those things are negative and they keep us locked into negative thinking.
Be positive about yourself and remind yourself of how wonderful you are and all the things that you can do. Everyone is good at something, and we are all shaped the way we are for a reason. Even if you have a disability, you still have positive things about yourself and can do way more than you give yourself credit for. You just need to start seeing the positive about yourself, that’s all, and don’t give up on your positives just because something, or someone, stands in your way.
Bad Attitude
Having a bad attitude in general toward anything or everything is one of the most obvious negatives. A bad attitude encompasses all of the above common negative things that most of us do or think about often. How can anyone be positive if they can’t see positive in anything and only ever sees negative in people, places, situations, or thoughts? They can’t possibly be positive with that kind of an attitude. A positive attitude may not solve things, but it is the first step needed in order to be a more positive person and attack situations in a more positive light.
Break Free From The Negative And Reinforce The Positive
All negatives bring us negative frequencies and lower our vibration. I realize that for most people (myself included) that it is not possible to remove ALL negatives, but for the ones we can remove, we should. And always, you must reinforce the positives, no matter how bad things get.
Reinforcing the positive thoughts and feelings really helps to ward off all the negative; you have to do it all the time no matter where you are or what you are faced with. Find anything at all positive in every situation, no matter how bad it is.
I understand completely how difficult this sounds, especially when you’re so deeply into the negativity pit, but believe me, it can be done. Once you break free from that pit of negativity, you will start to see the light of the positive. Once that positive light shows itself, you can grasp it more easily and it becomes much easier to remain thinking positively.
Here’s an exercise in thinking positive for you to try:
Get some paper and a pen or pencil. Or, you can use a word processor or excel document if you prefer.
Write down everything that you feel is negative in your life. For example: not being able to find work, no money for food, boss is horrible, someone said something you don’t like, something you don’t like about yourself, etc. Anything you complain about, or that makes you feel angry or frustrated.
Now, go back through each of those things that you wrote, and break them down one by one. Write the details about what is so bad about each of those things.
On a separate paper, write all the things that are good, or positive about each of those things. Think about positive outcomes because of these situations or flaws. Write all the possibilities that are positive because of these things. For example: woke up late and was late for work – delayed and missed a potential accident.
Some of the positive things that happen from what seem like negative events, we don’t ever know because the even more negative didn’t happen to show us how positive the event that we see as negative could have created. A seemingly negative event can save a life, and often does.
Once you’ve gotten it all written or typed out, read everything over. Compare the positive side to the negative side. See how much positive you have gotten out of every situation. The results might surprise you.
Do this task daily, and soon you will not need to even look at the negative anymore. Soon, you will glance at a negative and know that there is a positive because of it and you won’t feel the need to dwell on it anymore. You will dwell on the possibilities of why in a positive light and know that there is a reason, and the ‘maybe’ thoughts will come in.
Your New Positive Outlook
Remember to find anything and everything positive you can in every situation you find yourself in. A standard “At least … (fill in the rest)” or “It’s better than…(fill in the rest)” will suffice to get you going. It is all a matter of how you look at things in life that makes you a positive thinker or a negative thinker. A positive thinker is always going to be happier than a negative one, even when times are extremely rough.
There will always be obstacles in your way no matter how positive you are. It’s a matter of how you choose to deal with those obstacles that makes you positive or negative. Choose the positive path, and you will be less stressed and have a clearer head when it comes to dealing with those obstacles and you will overcome them much sooner.
Negative gives up. Positive finds a way.
Be a positive thinker and put all those negative thoughts and emotions aside whenever you can; they only bring you down and do not allow for you to be happy and move to something more positive. The negativity will never attract positive things; only positivity can do that. Like attracts like when it comes to positive and negative in your life.
Being positive is about being grateful for the things that you have, and the things you are able to do and be. Positive is a way of thinking, and a way of life. Become positive and life becomes easier; or at least easier to tolerate.